Top 10 Reasons We Might Not Want You to Visit Casa Iguana

1. Your favorite travel destination thus far in your life has been Nassau, Bahamas.

2. You assume hotel owners have degrees in meteorology.

3. You are unable to distinguish between a mild case of diarrhea and the Ebola virus.

4. Until recently you thought Nicaragua was an African nation.

5. Terms such as "Type A" "anal retentive" and "A.D.D." are things you have discussed with your analyst.

6. You actually HAVE an analyst.

7. Upon arriving at Casa Iguana one of your first questions will be: "Hey, where's a guy go around here for a good-time (wink-wink)?"

8. The last time you tried something new and different to eat was when your mother bribed you with ice-cream.

9. Small boats, small planes and BIG seas give you a long lasting case of the heebie-jeebies.

10. Three words: "picky, picky, picky."